Sandra Ebejer

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Wrapping Up 2021

I’m not sure how it happened, but 2021 is nearly over. I know this not because I have any idea what the date is (how anyone tracks time in a pandemic-stricken world is beyond me), but because of the year-end, “Here’s All the Money I Made as a Freelance Writer” success stories on Twitter.

(An aside: Why are writers so in love with this trend? You never, ever see freelancers in other industries do this. Not once have I seen a plumber blog about the jobs he’s done and how much he’s made, or read a roofer’s Twitter thread about the number of shingles she’s replaced over the last 12 months.)

Anyway, this is typically the time of year when I take a few moments to reflect on the past, set goals for the future, and then quickly forget those goals and fall into doing the same old thing.

But this year, I just don’t have it in me. I’m tired. Already, this month has been a very long year, and I don’t care enough to look back at my stats or add up my income. Who cares? What good does it do to share my successes and failures when it is literally impossible to replicate? Freelancing is so unique to each individual that you’re probably not going to get much use out of my sharing how many pitches I sent or what I made per assignment.

So this year, I’m doing something different. I’ve been very, very lucky to have had some incredible conversations with incredible people. And my goal in this weird job is to learn something new and interesting from the person I’m speaking with, and then to share it with others. Having that in mind — “What can I learn from this person today?” — keeps me focused and enables me to come up with interview questions I hope others will find interesting.

To that end, here are a few snippets from conversations I’ve had this year. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed hearing them. And links are included if you’d like to check out the full piece.

As for next year, I hope that 2022 brings more conversations with interesting people, more writing opportunities, and more bylines. And less coronavirus because honestly, I just can’t anymore…

Happy reading, and happy new year!

. . .

Snippets of Conversations from The Past Year

“Artistic freedom is essential for human evolution, so you have to make space for it. You cannot shut down the freedom people must achieve within their souls to be honest, to express, to make art.” —Ani DiFranco (Ani DiFranco Takes Us Into the Vulnerable World of ‘Revolutionary Love,’ FLOOD Magazine)

“I’ve always said the secret to a good marriage is, first, separate bathrooms. And second, don’t stay in the same city together for too long.” — Sharon Gless (Sharon Gless’ Memoir is a Hilarious Glimpse Into Hollywood Life, Shondaland)

“The one thing that I’ve learned is stop trying to be people you’re not. I tried on so many hats before I finally just gave up and went, you know what? I like Lady Gaga. Yes, I play Dungeons & Dragons. Yes. I’m fifty-fucking-seven years old! I can still shred my ass off on guitar. Come at me!” — Tom Morello (Tom Morello Rages On, AARP)

“I played ball with J.D. Salinger because we had a big front lawn, and he loved to play catch. He was a neighbor, and he asked my father if I would be interested in playing catch with him. I thought it was kind of weird, a grown-up wanting to come play catch with me, but why not? I loved playing catch.” — Laurence Jackson Hyman (‘The Letters of Shirley Jackson’ is the Autobiography We’ve Been Waiting For, Shondaland)

“I try to get outside to walk every day. I may be the only senator who owns rain pants. … The weather is never bad enough that I can’t walk. My average over the last 12 months is 8.5 miles a day.” — Senator Elizabeth Warren (Elizabeth Warren on Her New Book, ‘Pinkie Promises, Shondaland)

“I realized I was being such a hypocrite. I asked [others] to meditate, and I realized I wasn’t meditating. I wasn’t doing any practices because I was so busy. But I had time to scroll on people’s Facebook pages and see what other people were doing.” — Mallika Chopra (Mallika Chopra Wants to Help Kids Meditate, Shondland)

“I’m pretty certain that we’re rearing softer children. I think it’s hard to teach resiliency.”— Craig Melvin (Craig Melvin’s Memoir ‘Pops’ is a Celebration of Fatherhood, Shondaland)

“We didn’t go to therapy in those days. My parents were of a generation that looked down their noses at it. It would have been very helpful to talk about what I was feeling and talk about my fears. I became morose and silent, and I think they put it down to just being a difficult adolescent.” — Hayley Mills (Hayley Mills on the Pressures of Staying ‘Forever Young, Next Avenue)

“Nobody gets to grow without having major conflicts in their close personal relationships. It’s also why the people closest to us are the ones who are usually the least supportive, who make fun of you, who tell you why it’s not going to work.” — Jen Sincero (Cultivating Confidence with Jen Sincero, Shondaland)

“I think it’s something all parents do. We label our children. Well, you grow up living up to those labels. I wore Sunshine Girl as a badge of honor for a long time until I realized it wasn’t serving me in my personal life.” — Julianna Margulies (Julianna Margulies Opens Up About Her Childhood in ‘Sunshine Girl,’ Shondaland)

“I remember this particular moment where [my son] was walking ahead of me, and he was skipping down the street. I got so choked up because I felt how unfair it is that I’m going to have to, at some point, have this conversation. When do I have the conversation? What do I say? And then I have to weigh him down with the idea that because of the color of his skin, people may have certain perceptions of him or view him as a threat.” — Linsey Davis (‘Stay This Way Forever’ Celebrates the Joy and Innocence of Childhood, Shondaland)

“When I set my mind to something, I make it happen. Even when I started pursuing IVF, I was like, ‘Oh, this makes complete sense to me. You get the egg, you get the sperm, they do it, they put it back in, boom, done.’ I had no doubts in my mind that it would work. So, when it didn’t, I felt betrayed, and I was so confused. But then I was doubling down, and I was like, ‘I will make this happen.’” — Sutton Foster (Sutton Foster’s ‘Hooked’ Reminds Us That Hobbies Can Heal, Shondaland)

“I enjoy illustrating much more than writing. I find writing quite hard. Sometimes ideas just come out instantly. Other times, it’s a bit of hashing around with it until something comes out.” — Adam Hargreaves (Mr. Successful, Writer’s Digest Magazine)

“I started going to these folk festivals, and I was being judged a lot by the broader folk community. I looked different. I acted different. I sounded different. I was shaking things up and was not all the way welcome by some of the folk traditionalists.” — Ani DiFranco (For Ani DiFranco, the Past Didn’t Go Anywhere, AARP)

“I don’t believe that there is a distinction between what happens online and what happens in the physical world at all. I think it feels different, I think it has a different texture, but it is real life. The internet is real life. And I think that we are closer to agreeing on that after the pandemic has changed the way that we operate.” — A.E. Osworth (‘We are Watching Eliza Bright’ is a Page-Turning Thriller Based on Gamergate, Shondaland)

“One of the biggest things we can do to benefit ourselves when it comes to awe is [notice] the small stuff. You know, looking up at a sunset, watching the changing colors of the leaves or the passing of a season or watching it rain — these things that we essentially take for granted can actually be sources of wonder.” —Jonah Paquette, PsyD (Cultivating Awe is Great for Your Mental Health, Shondland)

“We tend to be perfectionists, and we tend to think everything should come to us quickly. I think living in a world where we’re always on and always connected only reinforces the expectation of instant [gratification]. But the process of figuring out who you are as a human being, and then running a series of experiments to find where that inner part of you aligns with what the world has to offer and what you might bring to the world, takes time.” — Jonathan Fields (How to Feel ‘Sparked’ By Your Work, Shondaland)

“Look at how you do everything, literally. How do you exercise? How do you go about running your household? How do you go about interacting with your friends, your family, and your work colleagues? Do you relinquish control? Or do you exert control? More than likely, you will be able to draw a parallel not only to how you handle money, but the way in which you go about making decisions.” — Jacquette Timmons (What’s Your Money Personality? It Could Be the Key to Your Success, Real Simple)